7 Tried and Tested Texting Tips
Texting is an undeniably huge and intrinsic part of modern life: from the moment we wake up and check our phones to the last text we send our loved one at night. It’s become second nature to most of us. Why, then, does the art of holding a text conversation still seem to elude many of us in 2016? Take note of the 7 expert tips below and you’ll never waste time with dull, over-long or embarrassing texts again.
I’m always shocked when people are shocked when I tell them about Text Weapon. “You have a website that focuses on texting? Why? What’s the big deal about texting?” Seven times out of ten they are texting someone as we are speaking…
So what is the big deal about texting? Well, first of all, texting and instant messaging has pretty much become the preferred form of communication for just about everyone. A huge proportion of the conversations we hold are now in the form of text messages. I’m not just talking about millennials, either. The average American spends 24 hours per week texting. That’s spending almost 50% of a typical work week glued to your cell phone with your thumbs firing off text messages left and right.
So, if you are going to spend that much time doing something, don’t you want to do it well? Wouldn’t it be fun to actually get excited when you heard your phone beep?
Too often it seems as though we forget how to hold a conversation as soon as we’re holding a phone in our hands.
How can you improve your texting, fast?
Here are my top tips that are tried, true and really work.
Make It Personal Start a conversation using the recipient’s name. Sounds banal, but it’s not. You instantly create rapport and fix the tone of the conversation (to something positive).
Don’t Let It Drag Know when to leave a conversation. Just like you don’t want to be the last guest at a party when it’s obvious the party has been over for hours and you are actually annoying the hosts with your presence, you don’t want to drag a conversation on and on and on. Leave it while it’s hot and come back later.
Be Careful What You Send Never send a photo (or a text) that you wouldn’t mind sending to everyone. Most sexts and other text messages are shared…so think before you type.
Mix it Up Don’t allow yourself to get into an all-text relationship. Mix it up, call, skype, leave a voice message. You can even do something that I find really powerful – pick up the phone and call the person in the middle of a text convo (for example, when the conversation gets flirty or really funny). They will probably be surprised…and delighted.
Be Conscious Of How You’ll Be Perceived Realize that people read a lot into text messages. Understand that when you send a text, your tone and how fast you respond is going to be studied and studied again at the beginning of a relationship (also during fights, or long periods apart…or just about anytime).
Know Your Objective Without seeming too calculating, it’s good to have a goal in mind. What do you actually want from this person? Friendship, love, romance?
Act Like You’re Holding A Real-Life Conversation Slowly open up. Develop a rapport with the person by asking questions, and showing interest in their life. Just because you are communicating screen to screen doesn’t mean there isn’t a real person on the other end. Always keep that in mind. If you wouldn’t say it, don’t text it.
Seriously, if Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan could fall in love in You’ve Got Mail over email, why can’t you fall in love via text?
Text messages are little electronic love letters (if you want them to be). Personally I have fallen in love with guys via text.
Did we send mundane text messages back and forth for months on end?
Did he send me a cascade of dirty photos?
Did he only talk about himself?
Did we ONLY text?
No. No. No. No....
Instead, we encouraged each other.
We eventually (after creating a natural rapport) opened up and texted about more than the weather or the commute to work.
We remembered specific details about past conversations.
We built our own inside jokes.
We remembered important events.
We didn’t play “timing games”, instead we texted when we had something interesting to say…or we were genuinely thinking about the other person.
We made a conscious effort to reach out, and keep it going. Regardless of whether you meet someone online, on a dating app, at the gym or in line at the grocery store, you are most likely going to text them at some point in time. And if you are already in a long term or long distance relationship you are also going to have to text them.
The way you text is the way people imagine you – it is virtual you. So text with care, and avoid showering your partner with grocery lists, one word replies or zero value-added text messages. Think of texting like holding a real conversation. Master the art, and use it as an opportunity to show your personality, create a connection…and fall in love.
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