Elisa Mclean

Elisa Mclean founded queek'd through her personal pain point of not being able to access an unbiased list of serious datings & apps. Since developing this platform, she has now found her purpose in helping singles feel happier and connect on soulmate level and is now on a mission to bring people together in love.

Thrifty or Tight?

You're having a lovely time on your third date with Mr great hair and fabulous teeth, he's giving you lingering looks, you're giving them right back with a dash of pout and a sprinkle of flirtatious eye fluttering. The final course of delicious food is finished, the waiter comes over to clear your plates looking slightly awkward about disturbing your cosy love-in. All is perfect, your legs entwine under the table and you finally feel all is right with the world when suddenly, Mr great hair and fabulous teeth… asks for a doggy bag.

You

A. Feel yourself dying inside and start looking for the nearest bathroom window...

B. Feel a bit confused, he's always paid the bill, he's not skint, why does he need to take his leftovers home?

C. Feel a little impressed, you wanted to ask for one yourself but didn't want to look tight!

So which option would you choose? Would you be horrified? Mortified even? Or would you want to turn that 5 date rule into a 3 date rule there and then?

I have heard many a story from single friends discussing these perfect guys who seem to be doing everything right and then BOOM, they do something that simply sends them catapulting so far out of the running for another date they're floating in space, so consider this. A guy asks for a doggy bag at the table so he has some dinner for later. That money saved then goes into a savings pot (with all the other money he's saved being thrifty) which eventually becomes big enough for him to buy you an amazing designer bag for your birthday. Doesn't seem so stingy now does he?!? You see, there are a few things to be said about a guy who's good with his money. For many, he's a tight git and that's wholly unattractive end of. But for those of us willing to spend a little more time investigating the reasons behind his behaviour, the guys potentially a bit of a gem.

You need to first look at the behaviour he has exhibited without pushing for information. Has he avoided certain dates that cost more money than others? Does he always wear the same clothes? Does he sit there rubbing his hands with glee when he's discussing the 30p he saved on a charity shop T-shirt? Or has he always placed an emphasis on the laughs and the time spent together over where you are or what you're doing. Has he demonstrated a passion for the environment and doing 'his bit'?

Considering these signs along with the doggy bag incident should give you a good idea of whether he's stingy or not. And to be fair, some women love a stingy man because they too, love a good bargain! But if you don’t and you're still no clearer about his behaviour, you need to dig a little deeper. Of course you don't want to be like 'hey, are you tight or what?'. He'll clam up faster than a hermit crab at a seagull convention. But you could be like 'that's cool, not a fan of wasting stuff?'. If he's got big reasons for doing it, he'll tell you! Who doesn't like talking about things they're passionate about?

The big question is (and what you really need to ask yourself is) are you tight or thrifty. It's not going to make any difference to you why that guy is nesting on his earnings if you like a generous guy. He could give you all the love in the world, but if you find tightness a turn off, to you, he's a turnip and he doesn't stand a chance. It's all about compatibility, and I think often we can jump to conclusions when we see certain behaviour, without giving someone the benefit of the doubt, or even looking inside ourselves to figure out why we feel how we feel about someone behaving in a certain way.

So is he tight or thrifty?

 

That's up to you to decide, but remember, don't jump to conclusions the first time you suspect he might be either, dig a little deeper and you could find yourself a real diamond in the rough.

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